What are you having?

As an eight months pregnant woman with my fourth child, I have heard this question often in the last ten years or so. Every time, my answer is the same, "We don't know. We want to be surprised." Tonight I overheard someone asking the question and the answer was that they were going to find out next week. He explained that they were having twins and so a little preparation was necessary. Then I started thinking. Why does it really matter to know whether a woman is having a boy or girl? Is there a major difference in having one or the other? I know some people find out what they are having to prepare rooms for the baby or buy the right clothes, but I find that newborns grow so quickly that buying a whole wardrobe of gender specific clothes soon ends up in storage. As for the rooms, a newborn girl is not going to care if she shares a room with her brothers for the first few months or even the first few years. I guess I'm a little perplexed at how necessary it is to find out what we are having. We are having a baby, and it doesn't make much of a difference if it's a girl or a boy.

Compassion goes a long way

Last night, my husband and I went to see The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I had heard it was a good movie to see, so as a surprise my husband took me out. The most heartbreaking thing about the movie was how a small misunderstanding can have huge destructive consequences, and a little compassion can diffuse the worse situation. In social psychology, there is a concept that when we witness someone's bad behavior, we automatically assume the worst while we are very quick to explain away our own bad behavior. For example, imagine a woman who pushes her way through a line at the movies. Others in the line may assume that she is rude and disrespectful. However, the actual situation is that the woman's daughter has just fainted on the other side of the line, and the woman is rushing to her side. Most of us would excuse the mother's rude behavior because we would understand the anxiety of when those we love are hurt. Sometimes behavior can't be explained away, but most times a little bit of empathy and compassion can go a long way to making this world more peaceful.